Get over it

It's been a long time since I have posted. Tests came and went and I was forced into a routine of training and studying before I left to France. It was also only today that I had reason for another post.

There are situations where people come to despise each other. Whether it be a couple breaking up, or something said in the spur of the moment. Life teaches us one thing, we need to move on or else that seemingly little moment will rule our lives. There are some moments in our lives that are truly life changing. There are moments where we change who we are and how we deal with people. But then there are moments that we let rule our lives when it would be easier to just let everything go. By turning a mole hill into a mountain what are we really proving?

On a completely different note...why do people see the need to put messages on their boyfriend's or girlfriend's Facebook wall? Who is it really for? Their partner, or their friends? Would it not serve them better to merely send a message to them (a private message that is). It's just something that I am battling to understand.

Blackberrys ruin friendships and I can prove it

I've never really approved of society's new addiction to the Blackberry. Instant messaging has its place, but I think that it shouldn't really have a place in relationships with people that you see every day. The truth is that these conversations usually cause problems, either due to a complete misunderstanding or merely due to the cowardly ability to simply end a conversation when you disagree with someone.

If you choose to fight with someone, it makes no sense to do it over instant messaging. I've always found it far easier to type things out and push the "enter" button, almost without a thought to what I have written. It's almost my way of showing a lack of inhibition. And should I say something really offensive to someone I don't really have a way to take it back or explain my point of view. Hell, there isn't even a "sarcasm" sign that I can use.

Instant messaging should be used when there are people that you don't see every day that you wish to talk to and when you need to urgently sort something out. It has no place in every day relationships. (in my humble opinion)


Sorry for not posting in quite a long time. Training has been occupying a lot of my time and I have been trying (unsuccessfully) to start work on this new block.

Kill the messenger

My ankle is starting to heal so I can finally start to get back into the swing of things, training wise. The sprint final is next weekend so I am hoping to be fully fit by then (at the moment I am pretty much there, just slap some tape on my ankle and I am good to go).

University this week was rather draining. Hospital day was a bit of a fiasco again, though I did learn a lot. I'm just starting to finalise the arrangements for my elective at the end of the year. I want to do it in internal medicine, the excitement of trauma and surgery just isn't for me.

The patients at the hospitals are really awesome. It's really amazing that you get to meet new people every day. Everyone has a story to tell, they just need someone to listen. If you don't hear at least 1000 stories in your life, are you really living? It's one of the reasons that I really like to get out and meet people (not at clubs though). It's in the most remote parts of the world that the greatest stories are hiding.

I suppose that my quote for today kind of follows on from last week. There are times when you simply cannot control the future, it is not in your hands.

"I am lucky. I did not choose this life. It chose me. It's strange like that; not picking my path, but rather easing into the water and letting it carry me where it will. Yes, there will be nights where I feel like my destiny is at my fingertips and there will be nights I wish the lights were off and I could just make these sounds in the dark. Still, I will always be there, wherever there might be, staring into blackness hoping the blackness stares back at me."

It turns out that sometimes the future actually belongs to someone else

This past week has been rather interesting. I had a really awesome time in Belfast training. Perhaps my ankle and my chest don't really agree (but I wasn't asking them!). Haven't been able to run because of my ankle, but I will hopefully be able to get back into it this week. Sprint Final is coming up soon and I would like to do well there.

Wednesday turned out to be a rather interesting day when a second year physio managed to lock their keys in their car. It probably looked a bit suspect when a group of people were trying to shove a coat hanger into the door of the car to try and get it open. The Toyota Corolla held up to several attempts to "break in". Its downfall in the end was another car key, that happened to open the car door... (the same key wasn't able to start the car, much to my disappointment).

Thursday started off rather shakily, when we happened to find a woman's underwear on one of the seats of the taxi set to take us to our community site.

Our driver tried to make a joke out of it... needless to say, I will not be going on one of his trips again (voluntarily).

Today ended up being the Wits open day. I was volunteered to go and help out speak to potential students. I must say, I feel a little bad "lying" to them. I just couldn't bring myself to say, "You are going to hate it." I have also recently come to the conclusion that lectures are an utter waste of time. I just need to convince myself to not go this week (or maybe next) so that I can try and prove my point (to myself, mainly).

I ended up finally having the conversation that I needed to have. It came about in a rather odd way and, needless to say, didn't end up going anywhere near in my favour. So another girl that I like ended up liking someone else. A little soul searching later and I have decided that I want to be an intensivist, will perhaps move overseas to take my sport further. This all mainly due to the fact that I don't really know what "here" holds for me at the moment. At times it doesn't feel like much...

The Cure for Depression?

Hello, there should be more blogs about dealing with depression when you're stupid and worthless, so here is a self help blog entry. 

Today's assignment is simple. Just go out and get on the bus. 

It doesn't matter which bus. Whichever bus comes next. Get on, and just go. You could ride that bus to the very end, thank the driver, and then walk into the woods and just die. Just lay down right there and wait and wait until you were dead. Who is going to miss you?

Really, think about it. If you went out to the middle of nowhere and just sat down in a ditch and cried by yourself until you were dead, who would be the first person to wonder where you'd gone?

Call them up! Maybe they want to get ice cream?

Medicine's Golden Touch

Portfolio entry for the LOTS block...


Hospital day provides an opportunity for medical students to be exposed to the challenges posed by the healthcare system in South Africa. It creates a sense of social responsibility to the millions of people that rely on the public health care system in this country. To be honest, it can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at times. There are times when it is difficult to see the challenges that everyone keeps telling us about. However, in the renal ward at Charlotte Maxeke Johannesburg Academic Hospital it is often difficult to come to terms with the reality that many doctors face.

There are just 120 places for haemodialysis and 80 places for peritoneal dialysis for the whole of Johannesburg. Many patients are excluded based on a long list of qualifying factors. It’s something that is very difficult to accept, because renal failure is not a disease that can be treated with medication. Those that are not part of the lucky few are sent home to die, while private hospitals house dialysis machines that are not always used. To me it seems an unethical practice to let machines go unused. There needs to be a point where human life is valued above money.

When visiting Chris Hani Baragwanath hospital the same issues seemed to be staring me in the face. Orthapaedic patients were being forced to wait more than a year and a half to receive life-altering surgeries. Often people coming to the orthapaedic out patients department have restricted abilities that prevent them from going to work. Not being able to help them timeously adversely affects both them and their families. It creates this cycle of poverty where the poor are unable to work and the rich continuously complain that the country cannot function adequately when only around 10% of the population is paying tax. [1] It creates the perception that the NHI would not work in this country; that it will augment the exodus of the educated few to “greener pastures”.

Medicine is not a profession that should be undertaken in the pursuit of money. By nature, helping people should be done with the intent of helping them, with a complete disregard for cost. In fact, helping people often incurs a personal cost. And there are people that show their true faces in public healthcare, unscarred by the make-up of private healthcare. There are organisations, such as the smile foundation, which help correct cleft lips and palates, free of charge. Perhaps it seems a little unrealistic to wish for a state where health care is free and of a high standard, but is it not something that we should be striving toward?

Recently, while a lecturer was explaining the intricacies of the South African healthcare system, a few students brought up the topic of the NHI. It seemed that their main concern was about how it would affect their income, a clear sign that most were already planning to go into private practice. I have no problem in making them feel guilty. I don’t think that they should be able to live with the fact that they are essentially deserting the millions of people in this country that rely on public healthcare. Perhaps I am different to most of my current GEMP I class, but to be honest, I shouldn’t be.

The issue of private and public is one that is very close to my heart. The discrepancies in resource allocation mean that many people are left without any healthcare, while doctors and hospital administrators of private institutions live lavish lives. I think that it is time that the university began to push the social responsibility aspect of medicine in general. Hopefully those in my class will begin to see that there is more to medicine than money because, if they don’t, the future of healthcare in this country is in the wrong hands.

The illusion of easter and other holidays

I suppose that I should start off with the fact that I am rather against religion in general. Religion has never done anything beneficial throughout human history. The only thing that it has done is given people a reason to kill each other over differences in belief.

I am not quite sure why good friday and easter monday are holidays in this country. Jewish and Muslim people do not get public holidays for their religious occasions. I am not sure why there should be "preferential treatment" in a sense. Rather don't have any religious public holidays, it helps to promote unity and non-discrimination.

SA team selections are in and I am going to France in August :). I can't wait, although the nerves are already starting to set in.

I am almost finished my latest portfolio entry. Will post it once I am finished.

Some of my new favourite quotes:
Unrequited love is a waste of time. Just walk it off. There. I said it.
Sorry, I think you mean "who," not, "whom". People WHO correct grammar in casual conversation are obnoxious. Now run along. Men are talking.
I can be happy alone, sure. I can be happy without ice cream, too. If we're being hypothetical.
I think you are beautiful and I would like to kiss you. I can think up some clever lines, if you'd prefer. But I wanted to say that first.
I have super powers and a costume. Every night I panic just outside my door, but every night I try again.

The Important Things in Life

There are three important things in life:
(1) University
(2) Orienteering (or sport in general)
(3) Relationships

These three things form the basis of every person's everyday life. It's very difficult to have a conversation where you do not talk about at least one (or in my case, all three). My memory is often so bad that I think that sometimes I say the same things over and over again in a conversation (they must have been important, right?).

For me, university is almost taking a back seat at the moment. I always wonder what it would be like to study something different, even though I am enjoying what I am doing. In high school I used to love creative writing, getting the opportunity to just make up a story (and perhaps wish that you were living it). There is more to life than university (which is what many people fail to understand). In three and a half years time, when I finish, things are not going to get any easier. I will not suddenly have time to do the things that I have always wanted to. It's time to do them now. Which brings me to:

Sport has become something that I live for. I go through stages where training is a bit dreary, but then after a weekend like this past weekend I have this sudden surge in enthusiasm, like I can train for 4 hours every day. I spend the whole day looking at old maps and looking at route choices. It's something that I wish that I could do every day. Sport opens so many opportunities. For example, this year I get to go to some obscure part of France. I would have never been able to see the things that I will see. My coach is under the impression that orienteers and adventure racers often see things that even the local farmers have not. It's also provides the opportunity to meet people, and fantastic people at that.

Which brings me to my next point. Relationships are the axis around which most of us live our lives. Always trying to impress someone so that you will be noticed, giving a casual glance after an action to check for approval. Perhaps it is not the best way to live life, but it does keep you in line in a certain respect. I have met some of the most amazing people through my sport (both orienteering here and overseas). You meet people that are always there to give good advice, people that are there to give a word of encouragement when you feel terrible and then there are the people that you just wish that you could spend more time with. Perhaps it would be regarded as girlfriend potential, but I am going to avoid that completely and say that I mean someone that I can talk to. And really talk to, not the usual small talk that we are all used to. I am not necessarily asking not to be judged on what I have to say, that is often too much to ask :). But I suppose this brings up the topic of who you should and shouldn't be "friends" with ("friends" is my new definition). It's difficult to be close to someone when everyone around you is looking for the latest gossip or even encouraging you to see something that perhaps isn't there (I often don't need other people, I tend to make odd conclusions all on my own). I just want someone to talk to damnit! Don't read into it (as I am always told as well). [worse could be someone reading this and thinking that I am talking about them, I am talking about someone, but is it you?)


I had an awesome weekend in Cape Town. Was great to be able to run in the forest again! Managed to win the SA sprint champs (my goal race of the season) and picked up a second place in the long. The middle was a bit of a nightmare, but oh well. The Hi Tec Infinity challenge takes place tomorrow and then there is the UJ sprint event on Sunday. Looking forward to it and hopefully I can do well this weekend.

SA Sprint Champs (V and A Waterfront)

WC Middle (Grabouw)

WC Long (Grabouw)