The fear and those things that you don't quite enjoy

There's something about medicine, there are times that it is really hard to enjoy. You are taught new things, but it never seems like you are going to remember anything. If anatomy is anything to go by, then I will remember very little. Which leads me to the odd conclusion that perhaps they are teaching us how to learn, and the material is merely a tool in the process. I remember the things that I love, which in third year seem to be few and far between. I suppose that it is all with the ends in mind, completely disregarding my lack of enthusiasm for the means.

There is something that comes attached to medicine. It's a fear in many shapes and forms. Firstly, there is mind-numbing hypochondria. Suddenly things that you completely disregarded (or simply didn't know about) become far more real. But there is another type of fear that I thought about today, it's not the fear of what may happen to me, it's the fear of what might happen to my friends or my family. It's the fear that when an ambulance is opened at a hospital it won't be just another person, it will be someone that I have spoken to, someone that I know. We are taught to distance ourselves from all of that, but I suppose we are never taught how to deal with it when it does occur.

Here's to hoping that that day may never come. Here's to hoping that my nightmares never come to fruition. Here's to hoping that I can sleep tonight.